This is such a difficult thing to notice (not find, but notice): recognising oneself as of value, inherently. Especially when, like you, one is swimming in seemingly obvious external yardsticks and potential markers of value--and utterly capable of doing so. It can be so seductive. And yet, when we do stand in the premise of being enough just because, just as we are, can't we then truly give what we are able to give? Maybe from there, the true gifts of who we are can arise. Seems like a paradox, and yet the world is full of 'seeming' paradoxes, so perhaps they are not. Thank you for sharing this part of the journey, Alex. 💫
So relatable, and so extremely refreshing! I can really relate to this- I dreamt of academia for a long time but eventually couldn’t disentangle my own genuine desires and passion for that career path from a need to prove my worth- so similar to what you wrote. It’s been a long internal struggle, I’m still working on figuring out what working toward other roads looks like now. Reading about someone with a similar experience who has taken the steps to pursue other things is so wonderful! Thanks for the candid writing!
You write so beautifully Alexander and reading these words, I can see how every part of who you thought you were was necessarily being stripped away for the 'true' you to be revealed. I've been in that place and it's terrifying, but as I emerge at the late(ish) age of 68, I can see why I needed to experience all that happened to me and I feel so different now. I'm enjoying reading your writing; have a great weekend.
This is such a difficult thing to notice (not find, but notice): recognising oneself as of value, inherently. Especially when, like you, one is swimming in seemingly obvious external yardsticks and potential markers of value--and utterly capable of doing so. It can be so seductive. And yet, when we do stand in the premise of being enough just because, just as we are, can't we then truly give what we are able to give? Maybe from there, the true gifts of who we are can arise. Seems like a paradox, and yet the world is full of 'seeming' paradoxes, so perhaps they are not. Thank you for sharing this part of the journey, Alex. 💫
So relatable, and so extremely refreshing! I can really relate to this- I dreamt of academia for a long time but eventually couldn’t disentangle my own genuine desires and passion for that career path from a need to prove my worth- so similar to what you wrote. It’s been a long internal struggle, I’m still working on figuring out what working toward other roads looks like now. Reading about someone with a similar experience who has taken the steps to pursue other things is so wonderful! Thanks for the candid writing!
You write so beautifully Alexander and reading these words, I can see how every part of who you thought you were was necessarily being stripped away for the 'true' you to be revealed. I've been in that place and it's terrifying, but as I emerge at the late(ish) age of 68, I can see why I needed to experience all that happened to me and I feel so different now. I'm enjoying reading your writing; have a great weekend.
Karen