A little detail that just made me happy and I out in for my own amusement, but didn't expect anyone to notice haha! Thanks for spotting it and I'm glad it brought you joy as well :)
Thank you! Me too tbh, it was the final edit and the experiment was whether it creates a more chaotic, discordant, crowded effect than without the bolding, but not sure if I liked it more before as well! Fun to experiment, glad you enjoyed it and really appreciate the feedback!
I think this works very well on a full size screen. (Although travelling, I have a laptop with me).
You convey the claustrophobic confines of crowds and city, then the slow expansion of space through the expanding lines as you head out... followed by the contraction towards the simplicity of a single sound - the "ah" as you approach the sea.
I really like the final section, with words and phrases spaced across the page the way boats and birds are spaced across ocean and sky. The spaces in the poem become that blue canvas of water and air.
The gorgeous final photo is the visual equivalent, matching the text perfectly.
Thank you Dave, I’m glad the experiment worked as it really is one of the first times I’ve tried to use the shape of the piece as part of the poetry! I should have said as well, but in particular the expanding and contracting lines, in addition to being a fitting shape for journeying in my mind, is something you have inspired, as I’ve seen you implement it in many pieces before! So thank you very much for the inspiration!
This is super cool Alexander. Really like the style. The first paragraph all chaotic messed with my head - to reflect how Edinburgh gets during the fringe?
Thank you Fliss! Yeah I really wanted that chaotic feeling of fringe crowds pushing and moving around you as the cacophony of sound becomes slightly overwhelming, which is exactly what happens here during Fringe whenever you leave the house!
Thank you for the encouraging, kind words Donna! Let me know if you think there was any difference in the browser version vs mobile, maybe it's not as significant as I imagine!
That final ‘i’ stands visually like a lighthouse, it leaves me with so much wonder rather than tying off a piece with finality. I’m reading on a phone at the moment so await to expand the horizons on a larger screen!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. It makes me so happy that the little details and choices that I imagined were more for myself resonate and that they land as I'd wanted. You saying it leaves you with wonder is such a compliment 💙
The discomfort perhaps in the beginning, within the unsure bold structure might just lend itself to the landlocked, observational narrative there. On the big screen away from dark mode it has less of an abrasion, as it would on paper. But the lighthouse I speak of disappears, the form has multiple digital faces. Something very human within the machine.
I came here to ask what to meant by your AI comment to find you explained in the article.
BTW the words in bold were too distracting. Instead of taking in the words I was going,'Why is that bold, and that one, etc? Am i missing something?' Maybe just bold a couple of obvious standout words if you want that effect.
Thanks for the feedback! All quite experimental so wanted to both crowd the space visually and shift the emphasis to be a bit overbearing, but can appreciate it didn't maybe work as I'd hoped!
This is super cool Alexander. Really like the style. The first paragraph all chaotic messed with my head - to reflect how Edinburgh gets during the fringe?
That little blue dash made me unreasonably happy. I think the best possible response to AI is to create weirder stuff, yes! Go for it!
A little detail that just made me happy and I out in for my own amusement, but didn't expect anyone to notice haha! Thanks for spotting it and I'm glad it brought you joy as well :)
Really liked it. I’m in two minds about the bolding, but I enjoyed the pacing and liked the shape when you got to sea.
Thank you! Me too tbh, it was the final edit and the experiment was whether it creates a more chaotic, discordant, crowded effect than without the bolding, but not sure if I liked it more before as well! Fun to experiment, glad you enjoyed it and really appreciate the feedback!
Hi Alexander
I think this works very well on a full size screen. (Although travelling, I have a laptop with me).
You convey the claustrophobic confines of crowds and city, then the slow expansion of space through the expanding lines as you head out... followed by the contraction towards the simplicity of a single sound - the "ah" as you approach the sea.
I really like the final section, with words and phrases spaced across the page the way boats and birds are spaced across ocean and sky. The spaces in the poem become that blue canvas of water and air.
The gorgeous final photo is the visual equivalent, matching the text perfectly.
Poem as voyage.
Fair winds!
Dave :)
Thank you Dave, I’m glad the experiment worked as it really is one of the first times I’ve tried to use the shape of the piece as part of the poetry! I should have said as well, but in particular the expanding and contracting lines, in addition to being a fitting shape for journeying in my mind, is something you have inspired, as I’ve seen you implement it in many pieces before! So thank you very much for the inspiration!
This is super cool Alexander. Really like the style. The first paragraph all chaotic messed with my head - to reflect how Edinburgh gets during the fringe?
Thank you Fliss! Yeah I really wanted that chaotic feeling of fringe crowds pushing and moving around you as the cacophony of sound becomes slightly overwhelming, which is exactly what happens here during Fringe whenever you leave the house!
that’s exactly how it came across. Looking forward to more
I loved it and will check in a browser when home. A great piece and creatively placed - keep going!
Thank you for the encouraging, kind words Donna! Let me know if you think there was any difference in the browser version vs mobile, maybe it's not as significant as I imagine!
Link to the formatted version here: https://www.alexandergunnarsson.com/p/crowds-concrete-and-the-blue-horizon
That final ‘i’ stands visually like a lighthouse, it leaves me with so much wonder rather than tying off a piece with finality. I’m reading on a phone at the moment so await to expand the horizons on a larger screen!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. It makes me so happy that the little details and choices that I imagined were more for myself resonate and that they land as I'd wanted. You saying it leaves you with wonder is such a compliment 💙
The discomfort perhaps in the beginning, within the unsure bold structure might just lend itself to the landlocked, observational narrative there. On the big screen away from dark mode it has less of an abrasion, as it would on paper. But the lighthouse I speak of disappears, the form has multiple digital faces. Something very human within the machine.
You have that beautiful and rare gift of writing poetry which, when read on paper, can be heard spoken aloud ✨
💙
Mmm… blissful.
I’d forgotten the opening by the end!
Thank you! That's what the sea usually does for me, helps me forget the stress and chaos of normal life, glad I was able to convey some of it :)
The duality- horizon divides earth from sky, yet it is also the point where they meet and merge into one continuous band of blue.
So true, and it's always intrigued me so, I can stare at the horizon for hours! (And often do)
I came here to ask what to meant by your AI comment to find you explained in the article.
BTW the words in bold were too distracting. Instead of taking in the words I was going,'Why is that bold, and that one, etc? Am i missing something?' Maybe just bold a couple of obvious standout words if you want that effect.
Thanks for the feedback! All quite experimental so wanted to both crowd the space visually and shift the emphasis to be a bit overbearing, but can appreciate it didn't maybe work as I'd hoped!
i expected the sea to be the payoff but found myself liking the miles in between more
One of the only redeeming features of AI seems to be your newly unleashed creative mayhem! I’m all here for it Alex! Let’s all go a bit more wild
This is super cool Alexander. Really like the style. The first paragraph all chaotic messed with my head - to reflect how Edinburgh gets during the fringe?